Monday, February 2, 2009

Google Image Search: Word & Picture #129

Today's Word:
"bird poop"

Today's Picture:

So, guess who has two thumbs and parked in the wrong spot in downtown Austin?

Yes, the night of the improv show at the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz, I was stoked to find an "awesome parking spot" on 7th and San Jacinto. I paid little attention to the sounds of birds chirping in the tree directly above said "awesome parking spot". The result of my not paying attention to the birds in the tree above my "awesome parking spot":

Yes, that is my sweet ride, covered in bird poop. I think the birds hate me because I once hit one with my car. My sister Jessica was 6 years old (at the time) and in the back seat of the car. I was less worried about the bird that I hit than the reaction my baby sister would have to me being a bird killer. Luckily, she started cracking-up and said, "Do it again! Do it again!" Now, she is a community organizer in Americore. My, how her heart has softened.

To the birds who pooped on my car: suck it... suck it hard. If I get the opportunity and you fly near my car, I will fulfill my sister's 6 year old wish and "Do it again!". Revenge on all birds who poop!!!

The really big problem was that I was super busy last week. Between shows & getting ready for the trip to Fort Worth, I did not have time to wash my car until today. So I drove around in the poop-mobile for a few days. It looked like my car had acne.

The last time my car was so covered in crap was in college. My friends (yes, friends), Derek & Juris, covered my car in plastic wrap, then covered the car in marshmallows & oreo cookies. The pigeons that lived on top of my dorm had a field day with my car. Here is a picture of the car before the pigeons attacked:

Unfortunately, there was no "after pigeon poop" picture. I was laughing too hard at having to cut myself into my car.

In case you were wondering, the car being wrapped in cookies was revenge for something I did... I can't remember what. But I am sure I deserved it. Nonetheless, Derek & Juris: I will have my revenge. It may take years, but I will have my revenge. (insert evil laugh here)

In Summary: I have 2 thumbs, vengeance will be mine on Derek & Juris, and birds hate me.


Anonymous said...

College Ben had a smokin' Chevy Corsica, a mascot uniform, and made his own beer.


Jennifer said...

Ben, this post had me laughing out loud twice. Thanks.

Ben said...

Hooray for the Corsica. Hooray for the home made beer. Hooray for stinky mascot costumes.