Last Saturday was my birthday. Megan & I had breakfast. I got a massage. I watched TV, played with PugPuggy, met friends for drinks, saw Milk, saw Master Pancake's Christmas show and had an all-around awesome day. I received phone calls & text messages from out-of-state friends and family. It was great.
The Arizona Wildcats played twice on my birthday. They lost in basketball, but won in football. I would have preferred a sweep, but I will take it.
Last night, I hung out with more friends for a belated birthday party. We watched a movie. We laughed and talked. It was great.
Tomorrow, we leave for the holidays. I am excited to see my family. My sisters will be there. We are going to drink and be silly.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
I have a big weekend planned. I am going to Master Pancake's Christmas Show tonight. Tomorrow is an Arizona Wildcat day. The basketball team plays at UNLV. The football team plays BYU in the Las Vegas bowl. I am going to meet some friends and drink some beer. Bear Down, Arizona.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Google Image Search: Word & Picture #120
George W. Bush can really duck a shoe. He has some lightening-fast reflexes. I was very impressed.
How is it possible this joker got off 2 shoes? Where was the secret service? I think the good ones were put on the "Obama Duty".
And who is in charge of press passes at Iraqi news conferences?
Kevin Costner would have never let 2 shoes get thrown at Whitney Houston. No way Clint Eastwood lets 2 shoes hit Jim Curley. (Name that movie)
Ving Rhames would take a bullet for Kevin Kline, but the secret service would not take a Sketcher for Bush?
In summary: 3 movie references, 2 shoes, 1 president with lightening-fast reflexes.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Holy crap, I loved this movie. It has immediately moved into my top 5 of the year.
Danny Boyle has a strange fascination with poop... I can respect that.
Well done. Really, really well done.
This was a movie weekend.
Megan and I watched the following DVDs:
Bottle Rocket - funky & fun. If you love Wes Anderson, you will love this. If you don't... stay away from this movie. I now understand my friend Sean's Halloween costume.
Step Brothers - this was funny.
Iron Man - still rocked on second viewing.
In the theater, we saw:
Slumdog Millionaire - I absolutely loved this movie. This is a top 6 of the year, in my opinion. It goes along side "Son of Rambow" and "Young @ Heart" and "The Fall" and "Dark Knight" and "Iron Man".
Synecdoche, New York - Every actor in this movie was brilliant. I had the same feeling towards this movie that I had towards last year's Bob Dylan movie entitled, "I'm Not There"... critics will love this, but I did not. By the end, my brain hurt.
I love movies.
Friday, December 5, 2008
"holidays in Tucson"
Megan and I returned from Tucson. I ate too much turkey. I played golf. I drank with Darrell and Jen.
Last night, I went to a UT basketball game with Mac and Long. UT won. I jogged after the game. I am still tired... that was almost 24 hours ago. Somebody (cough *Ben* cough) is fat!
I am still trying to get going on the blogging again. It has been slow-going this week.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Does the fact that I laugh at these make me a bad person?
If you think about it, we are making fun of 2 groups of people with this photo:
#1) the poor guy who grabbed his helmet in frustration during an Ohio State football game
#2) the creators of inspirational posters everywhere
A Michigan fan made this poster. And Michigan was destroyed by Ohio State this year. Hello, my good friend, Karma. Karma - some people call you "a bitch", but I don't think that is fair. I think you, Karma, are fair.
Bonus points for the person who can name the guy in the failure picture. You could lie to me because I really have no idea.
Happy Tuesday, everybody.
Friday, November 21, 2008
So I have seen these mock-inspirational-posters before. Usually I laugh my ass off at them. But this one is just scary. That is not really funny as much as it is horrifying. For example, this is funny:
It is mean, but it is funny.
Tonight, Megan and I are going to see the movie Role Models. This is my second time seeing this movie, but Megan's first. This movie really makes me laugh. There is one scene in particular that makes me laugh: Elizabeth Banks's character is trying to have a sincere conversation with Paul Rudd's character and Paul Rudd's character starts quoting lines from movies. It starts out relatively sincerely, then gets more and more absurd. Another scene that made me wet-my-pants a little bit: Jane Lynch and Ken Marino playing with the bagel dog at the end of the movie.
Hooray for date night.
In Summary: "bagel dogs" are funny, "failure" is mean and funny, "bad parenting" is letting your child slide through a grater.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
This is the first time in a long time I have Googled my own image. I am glad to see this one is making it up the charts. I took this photo in Oregon. I was traveling for IBM at the time. For some reason, the hotel where I was staying made me "Guest of the Day". They gave me a basket of fruit & candy. They put my name on a plaque. It was random and great. So I took a picture.
Way back when I started this blog, this used to be the picture that came up when you Googled "Ben Bartley".
It has now moved down to fourth position. I am not sure why it moved down to fourth position. It is a much cooler picture... and definitely not me.
Monday, November 17, 2008
It is good to be a dog. There is nothing better than fanning your privates. There are some days I would like to be PugPuggy. For example, when I saw this picture that Megan took:
That looks comfortable... except for her head being on the floor instead of her bed. I don't get it.
But most days, I am excited I am not PugPuggy. For example, I would be pissed if I ate Science Diet every day. Also, I like having thumbs. I am glad I am not scared of the vacuum cleaner. PugPuggy's biggest enemies (in order)
1) vacuum cleaner
2) lawn mower
4) her tail
6) Simon Cowell... no wait, that is me
And that is my stupid blog entry for today.
In summary, PugPuggy hates the vacuum cleaner, I like having thumbs and fanning your privates is great.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Sunday, Megan & I returned from beautiful Union, Missouri. It was the final wedding of 2008. My cousin Brad got married to Michelle. Here are the happy couple on a boat:
And here is a poorly-lit picture happy couple & their groomsmen. Forgive my camera's inability to pick-up light.
We had fun in Missouri, but both of us have been fighting a cold ever since we got home.
Doing this blog entry, I realized I never wrote the blog about my grandpa who died. Going back to Union reminded me I need to write about him. That will come next week.
Monday, November 3, 2008
I filmed another short this weekend. I don't think "filmed" is the correct verb, since there was no film involved. I shoot entirely digital, so there is no film involved... there is not shooting, either. I think the correct word is "taping". But that makes it sound like we are 1) making an episode of Happy Days or 2) mending a tweaked ankle.
When creating a short movie on mini-DV tape, what is the right word in this sentence:
"I ________ another short this weekend."
I was up until 2 AM trying to get the house put back together after the shoot. We had 3 cast, 5 crew, 4 visitors and a pug at the shoot. It was a good party. Everyone did a great job and I am stoked to get this thing into post.
Halloween was fun. The Dancing Banana was a big hit. An even bigger hit was Megan's lamp costume. It was so popular, people even copied her costume at a party. A guy dressed as a cat burglar put a lamp-shade on his head and extension cord out of his pants and (WHAM!), instant lamp costume. My friend Katherine had a party. It was fun. I drank a couple of her beakers of green potion. The rest of the night was blurry.
This is the week of birthdays. November 6th is my nephew, Jackson. November 7th is my buddy, Scott Chester. November 8th is my buddy, Joe Parsons. I think that is right. I always get those 3 mixed up.
Next weekend, we are off to St. Louis for another wedding. This is the last wedding of 2008. It has been a good year for weddings.
That is it. I am sleepy.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Google Image Search: Word & Picture #
What am I this year? Here is a video:
Hell yes, I am a dancing banana! It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!
For those who just discovered the internet, you can see the original dancing banana here:
What is PugPuggy, you ask?
Happy Halloween. I hope you are having a blast.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
You are getting sleepy... very sleepy... the only sound you can hear is my voice... or the voice in your head that reads this blog to you... sleep... your eyes are heavy...
So I am shooting a short this weekend. I am stoked about it. It is a short story by Les McGehee. I am shooting it with some uber-talented and fun people from Kat's class that I met. It should be a good party. Coordinating schedules has been challenging, but nothing too bad. I am stoked about making it.
I am also pumped for Halloween tomorrow. Megan and I worked on our costumes tonight. Mine is fun. I am pumped to post pictures (and maybe a video of it).
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
"The Buffet Bar"
Tucson, Arizona, is home to one of the finest dive bars in history: The Buffet. It is a cornucopia of people, smells and noise that can only be summarized by two words: "Holy shit."
During my undergrad days, I spent many a night at the Buffet with my buddy Darrell. I am sure my name is carved in something wooden there. I have eaten a hot dog there. I have drank way too many $2 Jumbos there. I have had forgettable experiences trying to go to the bathroom there. But most of all, I had fun there.
I sang karaoke with my friend, Meg Hartig, at a place called Beerland in Austin, TX. I had heard of Beerland, but never been there. I loved it. It was laid back... almost empty. The guy DJ'ing the karaoke was badass. He was funny, but not cheesy. He was a guy making obscure musical references and making-fun of the people singing, including me. I sang a song that Meg picked... I can't remember the name, but it rocked despite the fact I was singing it.
I am stoked for Halloween.
Monday, October 27, 2008
"bad Halloween costume"
There is NOTHING bad about the above costume. In fact, that costume is BADASS. I would love to dress up like Strong Bad from the HomestarRunner.com. That is so great.
I am stoked about Halloween this year. I am loving my costume this year. You will have to wait until next Monday to see the video of me in my costume. But, loyal blog readers, I will not disappoint you.
This past weekend was good. I watched a bunch of football & story-boarded. I also took it easy. I think when my body forced me to pee a pebble, it was trying to tell me to take it easy.
My body was also telling me I needed some exercise. I went for a walk with Megan around Town Lake on Sunday. That was nice.
Last weekend I took it slow. Next weekend, I am going to take it fast. Halloween. Hooray. Halloween is my favorite holiday. Also, I am shooting a short movie at my house. It is a story by my friend Les. It is not a comedy this time, just a story. It will be funny, but not like stuff I have done in the past. It is a short. I am stoked about making it.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
About 1 AM Tuesday morning (Monday night), I woke up with terrible lower back pains. It was not a muscular pain, it was internal. I jumped on www.WebMD.com and started researching. About the time I found "kidney stones", the pain was unbearable. I woke Megan up (out of a dead sleep) and told her I was going to drive myself to the ER. She was so out of it, I don't think she understood what I was saying. I drove myself to the ER. Once I checked-in and they brought me back, I immediately found the nearest bathroom and started vomiting. I felt like I had to pee, but I couldn't. 2 IVs, a thing of morphine and a CT-scan later, the doctor found (drum-roll please) KIDNEY STONES!!! The doctor said that "some women" have said kidney stones were more painful than child birth. I find it hard to believe. Thanks to #1) me being unable to birth due to my male genitalia and #2) the morphine, I will never have an idea if child birth is more painful. But I know kidney stones hurt like a mo-fo.
After I went to the hospital & got some drugs in me, I barely felt anything. Megan came to the hospital about 30 minutes after I checked-in (just in time for me to hurl in the toilet). She drove me home and we left one car at the hospital. The doctor told me to stay home from work (yes!) and drink lots of water.
Now, I am almost 100% fine. No problems. I have an appointment with a urologist next week. But the REALLY good news: I am no longer peeing pebbles. I went back to work today.
So that is my kidney stone story. It sucked.
I would like to thank Scott Chester for my new nickname: BB Gun. That made me laugh pretty hard.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
"Jennifer and Darrell's wedding"
City number two on the Ben Bartley Tour 2008 was Tucson, Arizona. Why did I go to Tucson, Arizona? I went to see these two lovely people get married:
The above people are Darrell and Jennifer. They got married on Saturday, October 11th at Z Mansion in downtown Tucson, Arizona. I know what you are thinking, "what do these 2 look like from the back?" They look like this:
I know you are also wondering, "what do Darrell and Jennifer's mothers look like?" I have answered that question, too:
Now you are probably wondering "what would the ceremony would look like if no one showed up?". It would have looked like this:
Darrell was an Resident Assistant at the University of Arizona at the same time as me. We worked in different dormitories, but we became friends because of our mutual love of 1) home-brewing and 2) University of Arizona athletics. Darrell and I's primary watering hole was the Buffet while in Tucson. If you have never been to the Buffet, you are missing out. $2 Coors drafts (called Jumbos), $1 Happy Minute and enough colorful characters to fill a Time Life special.
Darrell and I have a terrible streak going: we have never been to an Arizona football victory together. We have traveled to Oregon, Penn State and Wisconsin together. We lost all of those games, but still had a blast.
Darrell and Jen's wedding was awesome. They had a beautiful outdoor ceremony, an awesome meal, a mariachi band and a hot dog truck. Yes, a hot dog truck. But it was not just any hot dog truck, it was a Sonoran-style Hot Dog truck. I had never eaten a Sonoran-style hot dog before, but I guarantee I will try to find one every time I am in Tucson. A Sonoran-style hot dog is a hot dog wrapped in bacon, covered in mayo, pico-de-gallo, jalapenos, cheese and some other stuff I can not remember. It was great.
I was invited to stand-up for Darrell at his wedding. That was a great honor. It also meant I got to dust-off my wedding tuxedo. It fit like a glove... still got it. You know who else wore a tuxedo? This guy:
Darrell Bobbitt, looking sharp.
Here is a picture of (right to left) Fred (Megan's dad), Susan (Megan's mom), Megan and I at Darrell's reception. Megan's parents live in Tucson, so we stayed at their house.
And here is a picture of me... damn, I am handsome.
Megan was stunning, if I do say so myself.
Darrell and Jennifer - I will see you at Thanksgiving. Get ready for the Bayles-Family-Poker-Tournament. Susan is a high-roller.
Darrell - Arizona loses at Stanford when we are together. Arizona beat Cal as soon as we were in different cities. Arizona's short comings at football are clearly our fault.
Jennifer - you are a beautiful bride.
Thanks for the great party and congratulations!